Out of sight, out of mind.

Last update was like, what, 2012.

I grew up. Finally in my twenties.

Damn poetic jugak aku waktu mentah, lol.

Regards,
Sarah.

First time.

For the first time, I hoped it was all just a dream.
For the first time, I was crushed just to hear about someone's loss.
For the first time, I was honored yet... I had no idea how to react.

For the people who had just lost a brother... I wish for both of you to be strong.
I'm sorry I couldn't do much, yet I wish for the greatest happiness for him in the afterlife.

Escaping reality.

Has it been that long? I have forsaken my blog when I bought a journal for myself to keep, but I didn't really have the time to write anything anymore. Not that I have stopped writing... Frankly speaking, I have no idea what do I write for anymore.

I told myself before I had to find a way to conceal my own memories. My thoughts. Into something which can remain for the longest time it could bear. Writing journal was one of the options, but I can't seem to properly sit down and write something of my own. A piece of my own mind.

I skipped one of the most important events in my life.

So many things happened, yet so little time to finish them all. People start a cause, yet I will have to do the overture.

Putting words in another person's mouth never ends well.

I have come to a realization in which, trusting others is like a double edged sword situation for me. I can either kill them with it, or I should just let myself be stabbed to death. Today taught me how people are not even close to trustworthy, despite all the kindness I've done.

Oddly speaking, the ones who did the most work says the less. But people tends to speculate the things, the contributions I've committed and all I wanted to do is to shake my head or shrugs.

Humble is always my middle name, but silent killer has always been known to only some people. 

Never play with a sleeping lion.

Pushing luck beyond limits.

This week is exhausting. I'm holding it in, to not cry, to not be angry, with an essence of optimism flowing free without boundaries. I'm trying, at the very least.

Despite people saying, when you are extremely strained with something, behavioral changes may occur.

I don't believe it's sufficient as an excuse, no.

It's as if saying, death will come soon anyway, what's the point of trying? People try because they believe it can make a change, that's why.

I would love to lash out everything I'm stressed over today, but no, I'm just too tired, and that would make me equivalent to those making me feel three times lower than a dirt.

I'm just tired.

What could be seen but could never be hold?

It is finally 7th of February. I don't anticipate the coming of February but wheel of time turns without hearing the please of the people. We're constantly running- I know. Now is not the time to have a good pace or to start the run- it's already the time to sprint.

It's just either the fact, whether, we still have the energy for the final sprint to reach the ending.

I could see the future, but whether I will be able to attain it or not, is an entirely different story.

Sigh.

Now I'm constantly complaining about how I don't have any time left for me to spend with leisure, without straining myself, my body, my mind. But I kept on constantly reminding myself, it's okay, the time will come when I can indulge myself doing things I want. Someday.

Teacher Syafiza suggested me to read Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Lawthorne, and I just managed to buy it yesterday. So far, all of the books I've bought are still unread up until today.

I'm waiting patiently.

Rolling Star

I saw the way you looked at the moon. It might be a trap I set just to see what really caught your mind, but perhaps looking at the moon was too cliche.

I saw your gaze. I saw everything yet I conceal them within me.

It was a sweet memory, but I didn't intend to proceed it this year. Nor do I prefer for it to latch onto me for too long, because I know every time you steal a glance to look at me, it causes a turmoil inside.

I'm sorry, but I decided to put an end to it, even though I might will betray my own heart.

It was a good 7 months for the memories to reside within me. Thank you for everything.