Pushing luck beyond limits.

This week is exhausting. I'm holding it in, to not cry, to not be angry, with an essence of optimism flowing free without boundaries. I'm trying, at the very least.

Despite people saying, when you are extremely strained with something, behavioral changes may occur.

I don't believe it's sufficient as an excuse, no.

It's as if saying, death will come soon anyway, what's the point of trying? People try because they believe it can make a change, that's why.

I would love to lash out everything I'm stressed over today, but no, I'm just too tired, and that would make me equivalent to those making me feel three times lower than a dirt.

I'm just tired.

What could be seen but could never be hold?

It is finally 7th of February. I don't anticipate the coming of February but wheel of time turns without hearing the please of the people. We're constantly running- I know. Now is not the time to have a good pace or to start the run- it's already the time to sprint.

It's just either the fact, whether, we still have the energy for the final sprint to reach the ending.

I could see the future, but whether I will be able to attain it or not, is an entirely different story.

Sigh.

Now I'm constantly complaining about how I don't have any time left for me to spend with leisure, without straining myself, my body, my mind. But I kept on constantly reminding myself, it's okay, the time will come when I can indulge myself doing things I want. Someday.

Teacher Syafiza suggested me to read Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Lawthorne, and I just managed to buy it yesterday. So far, all of the books I've bought are still unread up until today.

I'm waiting patiently.